Dear Amy,

We had a tragedy on our street last week. The 23-year-old daughter of a neighbor committed suicide. In the seven years we’ve lived here we’ve only met them once or twice. My heart is so broken for them, but we are virtually strangers. I find myself stopping throughout my day to pray for the family. Do you have any suggestions for how I can tangibly love my neighbor during this difficult time?

Sincerely,

H

Dear H,

Oh, wow, that’s so rough. I’m sorry. We had a suicide in our neighborhood, too, an older man who was sick. It’s hard to know what to do or say even when you’re close friends.

There are three ways you can redeem this situation –

1. Acknowledge the past. In person or in a handwritten card, acknowledge that you regret you don’t know them well. Mention something nice you’ve noticed about their family.

2. Be present today. Let them know you stop and pray for them often. This opens the door if they need comfort and expresses your tender heart during their grief.

3. Change the future. When crisis strikes, we don’t have to be caught off guard. It is imperative that we know our neighbors for such a time as this. Make a resolution to get to know your neighbors a little bit at a time so you can support and care for one another when tragedy strikes. And, when there’s good news on the street, you can all celebrate together, too!

You might say something like this – 

Dear Sam and Marty,

Your family is so often in my prayers since the loss of your daughter. In the seven years since we’ve been neighbors, we’ve not been close but I’ve often noticed your family enjoying sports in the back yard or walking your cute little dog. I’m home in the evenings if you’d ever like to take a walk or have a cup of tea.

Much love,

H