Guest post by Kendra Broekhuis

As I pulled a casserole out of the freezer, I fought all of my “I Don’t Feel Like It’s” I felt about our plans to have company over that night.

My husband and I try to put hospitality on our calendar twice per month because it’s a way we can love our neighbors during the Little Kid Stage. However, I’d be lying if I said this was always an easy goal for us to fulfill. As a mom of two little kids and as an introvert, the presence of people tends to suck my energy levels dry quite quickly. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. Not only that, but there are also the logistics of preparing and eating a meal, all while keeping the children content and attempting to have a friendly conversation with whoever we have invited over.

Why even try, amiright?

Kids take up our schedules and drain our energy, so why not stick to just feeding our own family? Why not interpret the word “neighbor” in all those passages of Scripture to strictly mean “our own children” throughout this stage of life? Why not save all that “serving others” stuff for when they are older?

Contribute to the needs of the saints and continue to show hospitality. {Romans 12:13, ESV}

While are children are indeed our neighbors, and “the least of these,” and an important part of our ministry as parents, I believe that showing hospitality not only blesses others, but also disciples our own hearts and the hearts of our children. Here are just a few reasons why:

  • Practicing hospitality exposes our children to people who look, believe, and live differently than they do, which in turn teaches them how to interact with someone who is different than they are.
  • Showing children what it means to love people who are different than them is much more effective than preaching that message to them.
  • Serving others with our kids – be it through hospitality or in other ways – gives them the opportunity to ask questions about what we are doing, and more importantly why we are doing it.
  • While hospitality can physically drain our energy, it can simultaneously restore our family with truth, refresh us with encouragement, and deepen our compassion. I have had many times where I felt tired before having people over for dinner. However, I have never regretted giving out the invitation after our guests left.
  • Learning more about other people’s lives gets us out of our own heads and our own stress so that we learn to think about someone else.

Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. {1 Peter 4:9}

Now, I can still feel the grumblings from the moms nursing little babies and managing sassy toddlers and wondering how hospitality is even possible – mostly because I am so there with them. Therefore, the next list I want to share with includes a few things I try to remember in order to make hospitality less complicated and therefore less scary:

  • Don’t give out vague invitations such as, “If you ever want to hang out, let us know.” Suggest three concrete dates and times that you know work for you, and go from there. Putting something on the calendar is half the battle of making hospitality happen.
  • Research 3-5 recipes that are easy to make and create a large portion yield. Let these be your go-to’s for when you have company. Keep in mind common dietary restrictions such as gluten and dairy-free food. Also, when possible, don’t be too cool for KFC. Or meals that you pull out of the freezer.
  • Skip supper and share an hour over dessert instead.
  • Don’t think for even a second that hospitality has anything to do with having a Pinterest account. If “fancy” is your thing, then by all means go for it. I’m going to stick to sweatpants and paper towel napkins and feel no shame about that.
  • Don’t feel like it is your job to entertain. Entertainment means putting on a show. Hospitality means making someone feel welcomed. Providing someone with a simple meal and a good conversation around your table is more than enough to make someone feel loved.

When the goal isn’t to impress but to simply welcome, hospitality becomes a much more manageable and meaningful act of service that breaks wide open the hearts of everyone sitting around the table, including the kids.

So, invite your neighbors, friends from church, coworkers, and family over. Invite the rich, the poor, the Democrat, the Republican, the Christian, the non-religious. Invite the single, the married, the parents, and the empty nesters. Invite those who aren’t in your stage of life. Invite those you aren’t naturally drawn to.

This season of life with little kids isn’t a limitation that holds us back from our full potential of ministry as a family. Rather, it’s an opportunity to get creative and ask ourselves how we can serve others as a family.

Practicing hospitality is one of those ways.

Grace and Peace,
Kendra

Win a copy of Kendra’s new book!

What encourages you to practice hospitality in your home? What are ways you try to make hospitality less complicated and therefore less scary?

Leave a comment below to be entered to win a copy of Here Goes Nothing: An Introvert’s Reckless Attempt to Love Her Neighbor. 

About Kendra Broekhuis

Kendra is the author of the recently released book, Here Goes Nothing: An Introvert’s Reckless Attempt to Love Her Neighbor. For her day job, Kendra stays home with two of their children, Jocelyn and Levi. She and her family live and work in the city of Milwaukee, attempting to learn what Love Your Neighbor is supposed to look like. Kendra’s love language is Dove chocolate. Visit her website at www.kendrabroekhuis.com or follow her on Facebook.

21 Comments

  1. Donna Benedetto

    Hi Kendra. Loved that simple and practical advice! Those were great and workable ideas– for anyone wanting to show hospitality to their neighbors. I’m encouraged!!

    Reply
    • Amy Lively

      Kids or no kids, these tips apply to all of us. This was one of my favorites: Don’t give out vague invitations such as, “If you ever want to hang out, let us know.” Thanks for sharing!

      Reply
    • Kendra Broekhuis

      Thank you for reading, Donna! I love it that hospitality isn’t always as complicated as we like to make it sometimes! 🙂

      Reply
  2. Shanda Cunningham

    I read your book and loved it! It challenged me in a practical and real way. I delivered stovetop potpourri to our new neighbors, my kids and I made chocolate dipped pretzels and delivered them to our culd-de-sac neighbors and I even left a note with my name and number in a new neighbor’s door because I knew she had a little boy. She texted me and they came over for an impromptu play date on the swing set. I had my MOPs group over for a play date. 7 moms and 15 kids in my house!! It was awesome! I sent them all a picture of my half dressed threenager playing in a pile of toys on the floor to really set the bar low for the state of my house and welcomed them in. I’ve decided that if you can do it, so can I and I step out in faith. If I’m rejected, that’s ok, Jesus won’t reject me, he’ll be pleased I even tried and I hold onto that. Thank you for the inspiration. I needed it!!

    Reply
    • Amy Lively

      Impromptu dates are the best! No planning, no anxiety – just unexpected, unanticipated joy. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and experience here. While you’re at it… would you mind sharing your “stovetop potpourri” recipe? Sounds like a great way to take a treat to a neighbor!

      Reply
    • Kendra Broekhuis

      Shanda, you are amazing. Thank you for reading, but even more so, thank you for doing the hard work of putting “Love Your Neighbor” into practice! And even better when we don’t try to pretend we (and our homes) are more put together than they really are. Haha! You encouraged me today!

      Reply
  3. Laura

    Love this article. Our church just concluded at 5 week study and plan for hospitality. One of the final tasks was simply “do it.” Love the focus on literal neighbors. After over a year in our new neighborhood, we know two people…yikes! Thanks for the encouragement to just do it 🙂

    Reply
    • Amy Lively

      It comes down to something that simple, doesn’t it: DO IT! My neighbors weren’t coming to me, so I had to go to them. Thanks for sharing, Laura!

      Reply
    • Kendra Broekhuis

      I love that your whole church is getting involved. What a beautiful picture of the Body going out and “just doing it.” 🙂

      Reply
  4. Chris

    We’ve invited several families over from church (separately) so we can get to know them better since we are knew there. It has been fantastic nights of conversation and our friendshios have grown beyond just that night of fun.

    Reply
    • Amy Lively

      Hanging out at home has a funny way of doing that, doesn’t it? Thanks for sharing, Chris!

      Reply
  5. Molly

    I love this! I have three kids under four, by my husband and I also really intentionally try to practice hospitality. We moved to a new house two years ago, and I my first go to with my two girls then was to bake things with my girls and hand deliver them to my neighbors. It gave us a good reason to get out of our house and meet people and put something in my hands which helped me feel less fidgety and awkward!

    Also, I have set a new rule for myself when inviting others into my home: I never apologize for the state of my house. Relationships are about being real, and my house is really always covered in traces of three small kids. I’ve stopped apologizing and started letting see people see the real way we live.

    Thank you for writing this. It’s so easy to make excuses when small kids are in the mix and so important not to!

    Reply
    • Amy Lively

      What a great rule to live by! I’m pretty sure our neighbors’ homes get messy, too…

      Reply
  6. Kristen Schweers

    It’s one of the ways I can be the hands and feet- to both the unchurched and churched. Hospitality helps me to see my limitations and draw from the abundance of Christ, to pursue community (even if I don’t feel like it), and help others to know they are not alone and isolated in a world that feels so very much this way. Lastly, I want my boys to know how to very practically love others.

    Reply
    • Amy Lively

      No better way to teach Christ’s #2 command than in your own home when your boys are young!

      Reply
  7. Allie Christians

    A simple way to be hospital and practice loving your neighbors is by walking in your neighborhood. Evening strolls are the best! You meet people in a very natural way and plus…excerise right?! We love walking with our two boys and dog around our neighborhood and seeing people work in their yards, kids playing basketball, and other people strolling around as well. It’s nothing fancy, requires no work but does require a cheerful and welcoming hello to passerbys!

    Reply
    • Amy Lively

      Exercising your heart and your health at the same time, love it! You could start a neighborhood address book or make a map with your kids as you meet new neighbors and learn their names.

      Reply
  8. Jill

    Great article! I’m taking it as a challenge to practice hospitality more… instead of just waving to our neighbors, we’re going to invite them on over!

    Reply
    • Amy Lively

      It’s the next big step! May God bless your journey into your neighborhood.

      Reply
  9. Kelly

    We recently decided to show hospitality to widower neighbor. We found out it was his 94th birthday, so I grabbed a chocolate cake from the grocery store and we loaded it with candles and walked across the street. My kids loved it, but even more so – the neighbor did too. We left with tears in both our eyes.

    Reply
    • Amy Lively

      Oh, to think of a birthday alone… Bless your family for stepping forward on this special day!

      Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Looking for hope? Read an excerpt now!

You'll also receive a beautiful collection of printable cards that will fill your cup with refreshing hope! 

Thank you! Check your email for your free downloads.